NY

Basically, my generally nonexistent roommate has been around, confirming to me that I am meant to live alone (but I don't want to sign a 1-year lease, oh the dilemma). I got home on Wednesday at about 9 pm. He put the chain lock on the door, so I knocked and he let me in and flashed me a dirty look.

So, because I wanted to escape the roommate, I decided to go to NY this weekend and it all worked out a little too perfectly.

I literally decided about 10 minutes before I left work Friday (after deciding not to go and making tentative plans for the weekend here). My bus trips were only 4 hours each way -- and I didn't reserve or prepay. I had such a blast. The weather was gorgeous. I ate tons of great food. Hung out a lot in the East Village. I am sorry, U St. and Adams Morgan can't compare, though Ave. A reminds me of 24th St. in the Mission, but less scary.

NY is just so cool. I can't believe I EVER compared it to D.C. (i.e. when I was in law school). What ever was I thinking? It feels so safe. The food is so yummy and there is so much variety. There is so much stuff going on late night. There is so much diversity - every color, shape, and size is represented. I don't find it overwhelming at all. I probably need to still live there. Darn, I am confused. I wish I got to live multiple lives.

The highlight of the weekend was seeing Avenue Q (and of course hanging out with Beverly and Priscilla). I have been wanting to see the play for the last 3 years and had such high expectations. I had heard the music, but the context for this is everything. I went with Beverly and the play was sold out. We lost the lottery, but someone who won sold us their tickets, so we had nose bleeds. Anyway, I love the play. It is hilarious. I mean, the content is so dark, but it is presented in this really unique way that makes it so light-hearted and endearing. My favorite line is at the end, which says "Sometimes life is scary, but it's only temporary."

Today I saw my brother Dale and his family in Rye. This is the first time I have hung out with family from my dad's side since he passed away. Dale and I have a very natural bond, though we are very different; he is a die-hard republican, and a Mr. Fix-it/tech maven. He thinks it's crazy that I have travelled to Iceland and Israel and eat Indian and know about churrascarias. But, we have a lot of like for each other. And respect. We went "geocaching", which is like treasure-hunting. Apparantly, it's this hot thing that people are obsessed with. There are all these folk terms for geocache muggers, and the like. We went through a marsh and it was a lot of fun. My niece, Amelia, is 10 and seems very well-adjusted. It was great to talk about dad. I know -- wherever he is -- he is happy that Dale and I spent the day together.

Seems like my sister is coming to visit in D.C. Doug decided all of the sudden that he wanted to come to D.C., so after virtually begging her for the last 6 months with no firm committment (mainly b/c I want to spend time with Parker and Emma), it seems like it's going to happen. We had a little argument about them staying at the Mandarin Oriental, which is in SW. I told them it was sketchy - but they were like "it's on the tidal basin" and I was like, "and?" I find his level of power in the relationship so frustrating, but I am not going to lose sleep about it. They know what I think and I've thought it for so long that it really has no bearing on anything.

Dreams and Obsessions

Today I was walking to work. The weather has been good so I was all peppy; especially because I passed through a protest. Then I saw this big mass of people, which was exciting and reminded me of NY. Then I realized the mass of people was due to a fire drill in a large office building. But, whatev.

I keep on having the recurring nightmare about watching airplanes crash in mid-air. Last night it was a quazi-lucid dream, which totally freaked me out. Sarah and I were together -- flying American airlines, but our plane was delayed (which is relevant to our recent flight out of Austin). Meanwhile, a Delta airliner just stopped in mid-air, suspended for about 5 seconds and just belly-flopped into the ground. The weird part about the dream was that in the dream I freaked out because my recurring nightmare had come "true".

I have been plagued by recurring nightmares to include:

1) A version of Chinese water torture involving dabbing ketchup on my face.
2) A series of dreams about my teeth crumbling into dust or falling out, i.e. chewing into an apple (at Applebees)
3) A dream about being miniaturized and stuck in a glass of water (which I recently found out happened to a mouse in my friend's house).

I also realize that I no longer have an obsession. I used to be obsessed with colleges, but now that that's my job, I can sort of let it go. In my life I have been obsessed with:
1) track housing communities in South Florida (I used to know all the included features for every community)
2) cruise ships (I used to know the gross tonnage of every commercial cruise liner in the world; I was also a superstar in my high school oceanography class)
3) tennis rankings
4) colleges (I read the entire Lisa Birnbaum college guide 8 years before I was to go to college and concluded that Pepperdine and Rhodes College were my two top choices - that was back when I considered myself a "Republican" which I dropped ONLY b/c my mom dated an Armenian con man named Berge who was a devout member of the GOP; I guess everyone serves a purpose)

A random sad note is that one of my favorite dishes - the chicken crepe salad at Raku (hold the cucumbers, and add extra sesame dressing) is no longer. Laura and I used to go exclusively for this dish. Let us remember the good old days.

Hippy Backpacking Gypsys

Hippies
Growing up, my mom was anti-hippy. In contrast, I have always considered myself to have a special affinity for hippies. My ex is a modern-day hippy, and her mom certainly was and is.
I think because of this my mom sort of likes hippies now. However, my friends insist that I am a yuppy; not a hippy at all. While that was sort of confirmed in SF, when after Dana's birthday, we went to my fave 80's bar in the Mission, Delerium, and one of my friends overheard the bartender asking "what are all these yuppies doing here?" I actually sort of revel in that.

I guess this sort of disturbed me because in Washington, DC, I definitely thought I was as countercultural as one can be. OK, so I don't do drugs, or act in a "free love" manner, I shower regularly, and I don't recycle. I actually used to do all those things a lot more because I respect it all. (Alumni Directors should wear cord jackets with elbow patches, not nose rings). Doesn't ideology count for something? So, either I am a deactivated hippy or I am not a hippy. Whatever.

Backpacking
So, my mom and I "travelled" around Europe (Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic) after I graduated from college. I always said we backpacked, but these same friends call me on that lingo as well. They insist that backpacking requires backpacks and staying at hostels. So, yeah, my mom and I did wheel around luggage - true. But, we travelled for 3 weeks without any plan at all. We took trains, and experienced all kinds of adventures -- including sleeping on a sketchy Amsterdam houseboat where I couldn't even fit my whole body in the room, my mom getting locked in a bathroom in Prague, staying in a strange Turkish suburb of Berlin and almost freezing to death, and jumping out of a moving train in Frankfurt. My mom had never travelled this way before. And, I have backpacked before. And, even though our primary luggage wasn't a backpack, our experiences were more similar to those of a technical backpacking trip than they were to a normal trip to Europe.

Gypsys
So, I made fun of gypsys the other day. I basically said something like Borat would say, but far less comedic. Anyway, I was also called on this because this group is very oppressed in Europe because of these stereotypes. I responded that in our country they are not oppressed, so it is not a problem. He countered, well, what if black people weren't oppressed in Europe and a local person starting raising stereotypes about crack. I see his point. Not sure if I can justifiably make gypsy jokes anymore. Does it make me as bad to just think it?

Backers

Austin was so much fun! Yee-haw. You should check out all of my yelp reviews.

We all drank Shiner Boks or Lonestars at most every meal, and sang full-volume in our minivan between adventures. We played celebrity and Mike strummed the Banjo while Sarah crooned church songs. I purchased cow-hide cowboy boots.

We saw music too - some good (jug band), some not so good (duelling piano sexists) - and partook in chicken shit bingo. I ate lots of queso, which is yummilicious. A lot of our plans didn't work out, but I think we mostly felt revived and excited to realize we are still young and fun, though perhaps in a slightly more subdued and responsible form.

Maybe some of you will move out to Austin with me one day or at least visit?!

Since I have left the Bay Area so many of my friend have left, from Turadg, Thorben, Beverly, Shannon, Mike, and now Joanna, and Dana, and prospectively, Andrea. The whole time I was there very few people left (in contrast to my experience in D.C.). If I ever move back, it will be totally different to have those people absent from my life.

I can't believe I have been in D.C. for so long - approaching a year. I can do this. And, I am glad I did it. After being in Texas, while walking to work I realized that the walk to work is like a Marshalls or TJ Maxx fashion show. Sad. People are also markedly ruder here -- specifically in the service industry. I insist on being nice.

Last night Mike planned a great night for us. Through the freezing rain, we went to a book release party (the Not for Tourists Guide to D.C.) at Local 16, to El Khartoum Sudanese for dinner, we saw an indie play and drank some at the Warehouse, and ended the night at a gay country-western/karaoke bar (which had no Texas beer), where Mike and I randomly ran into two other Mac grads (one of whom exhibited the characteristic Mac aloofness). It made me realize D.C. is dandy.

In the play, they used this term "mench" which is short for mention. I like it. There was a whole sequence where they ended every word/name with "ers" and it stuck in my head.

I am going to Puerto Rico with my mom for my birthday present. I haven't been since my grandma died when I was in 9th grade.

I got to see my old friend chicken the other day. He was like a little brother to me. Now he is 26. I haven't seen him in perhaps 5 years. He slept on my floor and we gossiped about the old days. Was really nice. Overlapping memories are the most rewarding kind.

Break

I go to Austin this weekend and, even though vacation was just a few months ago, I totally need a break. Austin is a total foil to Washington, D.C. Fun there is cheap and lazy. D.C. is fast-paced and full of 'tude. I wish I had friends in Austin. I would totally move there and live large. I want a little craftsman house with a back yard. A unique place that I can fix up, host BBQ's, have my friends stay in a proper guest room. Maybe I'll do it. My mom and Basil will be there and it really has everything that I need, save for friends. The big problem is as we get older, I dread having to make new friends. And finding a place with a critical mass of single people; where this is normal. This is why I will eventually move back to the Bay Area; methinks after the Presidential election. (As of late, I have been feeling strangely apolitical.)

Steph, an old friend, started working with me. I have been without aid at work for going on three months. Accordingly, my head has been spinning. It is so nice to have an ally. With this much-needed partnership, I feel reenergized and confident that my program can move forward. I am even motivated to take some classes, though the specific classes change all the time. I think I want to take a class on Africa and a voice class.

The person who I originally was going to hire -- who was ultimately vetoed -- got another job, which made me feel so relieved. I carried around a lot of guilt for a long time; you would think I was Catholic.

I think about my dad a whole lot. He gave me his watch and I wear it all the time and feel so much pride when people compliment it. I wish I were staying in better touch with my family on that side. The woman who was first lady of Mac when I was there -- Marge McPherson -- passed away at 60. It affected me more than I thought it would, perhaps because of my dad.

Ahmed, my old roommate, is around (from Dubai) and stayed with me the other night. It was as if he never left. He was an outstanding roommate. My current roommate is truly rarely here. He is too busy at the Oscars, or chasing Brittney Spears at Sky Bar in LA.

I don't like arrogance and moodiness, or any combination thereof. I just have to share this.

I finally have some D.C. restaurants that I love -- Super Pollo, Hee Been, Neyla's, El Khartoum, Amsterdam falafelshop, Bombay Palace weekend lunch buffet, New Fortune dim sum, thai Tanic and Singapore Bistro for delivery. This constitutes a critical mass.

Anyway, after the debacle that was law school Spring Break in Florida, I have slight pangs of anxiety about a 7-person trip to TX. Remarkably, vacations are much more snippety in the adult world. I am planning on Europe in October.