Awesome Installer

Hi guys.

So, I had to get that darned washer/dryer installed. I called a bunch of people on craigslist to see if they would do it. It was pretty incredible to see such a range of prices. The guy who I ultimately chose is charging $80. The highest was $350! (He was such a con man, it makes my stomach sink).

Anyway, this guy showed up. Turns out he is such a cool cat. Grew up in the 'hood of LA (Crenshaw). Went to USC. Lives in Oakton now. His passion is simple appliance installations, like this. By day, he works for The White House installing top-secret telecommunications for Bushie - and travelling around the country to do so. I didn't have any extra dollars, so I gave him my copy of Rize as a tip and a bottle of wine. Thanks to craigslist for introducing me to this amazing man!

On another note, as a reality-TV person, I love Top Chef. The Miami edition introduced me to these Bertoli frozen meals. They are so good - not too bad for you - and on sale right now. Gotta love it.

I am making taco pie for a work retreat for tomorrow. So unhealthy, it's disgusting. But tasty too. I got the recipe about a year ago from my jew for jesus high school Spanish teacher!

Living situations: Adult Life

Today, I did my yearly credit check and my combined score was 733. How cool! On some of the forms were my various addresses. Thus, I was thinking about the evolution of my living situations over the years. I will focus this entry on the chronology of living situations during my "adult" life, and how my life has gotten progressively more expensive.

So, since 18, I've lived in lots of living situations:

• 1) St. Paul/Mac - Turck dorm, on what was called the "orgy floor", with Kris Lundell - 1997-1998


• 2) Off-campus slum with 7 students (Tony, Christine, Jesso, Kris, Ruth, Terri, me) people on Portland Ave @ Snelling in St. Paul; no AC; across from gas station. I technically shared a basement, but slept with my gf at the time on a bed with an incline and various coils coming out of it. Other roommate lived literally (and figuratively) in a closet. I think I paid about $100 a month for rent. - Summer 1998


• 3) Wallace dorm in the basement - cool "triple" with Jesse and Kris- 1998-1999


• 4) Mom's house in suburban Ft. Lauderdale - lived with gf, mom, her freeloading boyfriend, and his family: namely his convicted sex offender son, and tennis "prodigy" grandaughter - Summer 1999


• 5) Capetown/Langa, South Africa (a) homestay in the township of Langa, where I shared a bathroom with no toilet seat, or lock, or window shades on the window with 3 host siblings (Simo, Bhukosi, Zozo, and mama Nomaliza) and, (b) homestay in the more ritzy Tokai, where I lived with my friend Danai and her family friend, Lesedi, his wife, and adorable daughter, Denayo; only problem with that spot was the water pressure in the shower sort of sucked. And I was pretty isolated. Can't remember what I paid. - Fall 1999


• 6) Hedonist House (Portland @ Wheeler) - I lived in this disgusting/dirty house with dark and dingy party basement, shag carpet with a motley crew of intelligent and opinionated characters (Shane, Brianne, Ruth, Saskia, Emily, and for a short time, Sam), ranging from sado-masochists to Christians speaking in tounges. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun, with lingerie and Eurotrash and frat-mock parties. I paid $150 a month for a room called "the womb" which was a walk-through. But, again, I slept in my gf's room on a futon without a frame, i.e. on the floor. This is the last time I chose to live with Christmas lights. - 1999-2001


• 7) Northern VA - I lived in a luxury condo in suburban D.C. We had a concierge, a pool, and a dry cleaner in the building. I shared a room with Jason, but there were 3 guys total (Mookie and Christian). There was a lot of strife (including a ketchup situation), but I was the popular one who everybody wanted to with. The apartment was fully paid for by the internship program, but was worth $2400 total, so $600 each (for 4). I thought we were super rich - Summer 1999


• 8) Stanford, CA - I lived in Lantana Hall at Stanford U for free. I ate really good toasted sesame dressing on virtually everything in the dining hall. - Summer 2001


• 9) West Hartford, CT - Lived for 3 days in Clemen's Place, which was ghetto and they basically held me hostage over a parking issue. Then, I moved to the dining room of a nicer 1 bedroom colonial-style spot, where I lived with Melanie (and her boyfriend at the time, Kelvin). I paid about $400 a month, which I thought was steep at the time. The place had a very royal blue color scheme, which was not my thang. And one of those creeky metal-framed futons. 2001-2002


• 10) Kenilworth, IL/Chicago- Lived in a ritzy North Shore suburb of Chicago with Andrea's wonderful family for free. I will never forget their kindness in extending their home to me. Summer 2002


• 11) West Hartford, CT - Lived for 2 years (longest in adult life) with Andrea (and her girlfriend, Cindy) in a spacious 2 bedroom pad, with a separate living and family room. I paid about $470 a month, which was a stretch. My mom furnished this place, and it was the first time I felt like a real adult living on my own. Best landlord ever - Lou Peck, I love you! 2002-2004


• 12) Bolton, CT - Again, lived with friend (Anita's) parents in a fun and exciting house for free! This was a good time with really good food! - Spring 2004 ....We miss you a lot, Arun :(


• 13) Berkeley, CA - Lived for $375 a month (all-inclusive) in a UC-Berkeley law student dorm room/studio (250 sq ft) with kitchenette, which we rented, site-unseen and shared with Anita. - Summer 2004
  


• 14) San Francisco, CA - Moved to North Beach and rented the best value in the frikkin world - $2200 total rent-controlled/$550 a month for gargantuan room with Bay views (actually the huge landslide issue that occurred earlier this year was in my backyard, See: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/02/27/BAG6GOBV263.DTL). Lived with Anita and Alex, and Andrea. Lot's of "A's" but we never noticed it. - Fall 2004


• 15) San Francisco, CA - Moved to essentially an adult frat house in Nob Hill (my 'hood in SF) with Laith, Adeel, and Alex. We also had a guest bedroom. This was a LOT of fun - lots of people over, impromptu parties, debauchery, and silliness. There was always someone awake. I lived with Christmas lights, after a multiyear hiatus, under protest. Overall, the place was a sty. I paid $600 a month, which again, seemed like a lot. - 2004-2005


• 16) San Francisco, CA - Moved a few blocks downhill to the Tendernob. Trannie prostitutes hung out by my front door. Got my 1st apartment to myself, a small 1-bedroom for $1000 a month, which was my big jump. 2005-2006


• 17) Washington, DC - Moved across country. Thought things would be less expensive, but they were A LOT more. Sharing an apartment originally with Ahmed, who moved to Dubai, and now with Bill, an absentee roommate for whom this a 3d home. Granite counters, washer-dryer, jets in the bathtub - but my portion is $1200 a month, plus semi-monthly maid service. 2006-present

The one I think about the most was the one in Nob Hill with the guys/the frat house. This was the last time I really felt young and free. It's where I figured out a lot about myself. I will never forget that situation, pee on the bathroom floor and cigar smoke enveloping me, and all!

Gawd - I am scared about what's next?! How much money I would save if I were to pay $150 a month. Those were the days!

Crime and Consumerism.... and Consulting!

I feel like I've exhibited a trend in writing about crime and consumerism. But, I can't stop.
So, from all the consumerism sagas, what was the end result you ask?

• I wrote to Chipotle because they overcharged me for a salad, and they actually responded... with a "burrito buck."
• The "supervisor" at Potbelly called me and gave me a bogus answer about their nutritional information. Basically, they said that because each sandwich artist makes milkshakes from scratch, that each one has a different calorie count. And, that they aren't a huge multinational like McDonald's, which does not allow them to determine this info. They also say that they need to be careful because people may have allergies. I was incensed by these answers, but then realized that they don't really matter in the large scheme of things.
• Maggie Moo's and Baja Fresh never wrote back.

Am I an old Jewish grandfather?

• Then, I had a new, really crap situation (kind of like last year's with Overstock) with my washer-dryer, that my landlord ordered -- from US Appliance. I waited for it all day last Monday. They showed up an hour later than the end of their quoted time frame, and tried to leave it ON THE CURB! They refused to bring it up. I got a little Ricki Lake on the delivery man (who I should have off the record offered money to, to take it upstairs) and they took it back. My landlord had to come here from NY to receive it.

In sum, these companies suck. Is France better in this regard? Gosh I love the idea of France.

Speaking of Rikki Lake, my mom was in town this weekend. We continued work on Sarah's lovely apartment. We went to the Home Depot shopping center in Eckington and, let me tell you, this place is kooky!

Warning -- more consumer talk: First, we went to Home Depot. My mom and I tried to wave at these little babies and the mother flashed my ma and I the evil eye. Then, we tried to engage a person to purchase thousands of dollars of plantation shutters, and they basically ignored us. Then, I asked a person next to the washers/dryers if they could install it and the salesperson said, "you should ask someone else." Ricockulous!

Then, Sarah and I went across the street to AJ Wright, a cheaper Marshalls. Sarah waited on line for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, all this stuff happened.

• I sat next to this little 7 year old who asked me a million questions about whether I liked candy, and then she showed me all the features on her cell phone.
• Then, her mother whacked her brother so hard that the wind got knocked out of him.
• Then, I hear a salesman yell "AMIGO" and run outside to catch a hella drunkard who is wearing a shirt he stole with the security ink tag still on. They negotiated, the clerk unleashed ink on him, and he walked away.
• Then, someone came up to the kid sitting next to me and said "I have bad news, __________ is in jail again." They were all annoyed.
• Then, Sarah and I traversed the hot parking lot. We transported some mums to her car, and she closed the door. Lo and behold, 15 minutes after the ink unleashing, drunk-as-a-skunk "AMIGO" aggressively walked up to our car, tried to open the door, and smooshed his face against Sarah's window. We drove away.
  
  Anyway, I have a cold. That sucks. The absolute worst part about being an adult is that nobody cares when you are sick, and half the time people don't believe you.
  
  I consulted this morning. I can't believe I am a consultant. It makes me feel very special. And, I am working for this hella cool organization that I totally believe in. And, they recruited me for a full-time position, but I could not live where their headquarters are location. Heck no. But, this organization's constituents, to whom I presented today, were the coolest cats ever. And, I feel like the homecoming king (or better) because they embraced me.