Awesome Installer

Hi guys.

So, I had to get that darned washer/dryer installed. I called a bunch of people on craigslist to see if they would do it. It was pretty incredible to see such a range of prices. The guy who I ultimately chose is charging $80. The highest was $350! (He was such a con man, it makes my stomach sink).

Anyway, this guy showed up. Turns out he is such a cool cat. Grew up in the 'hood of LA (Crenshaw). Went to USC. Lives in Oakton now. His passion is simple appliance installations, like this. By day, he works for The White House installing top-secret telecommunications for Bushie - and travelling around the country to do so. I didn't have any extra dollars, so I gave him my copy of Rize as a tip and a bottle of wine. Thanks to craigslist for introducing me to this amazing man!

On another note, as a reality-TV person, I love Top Chef. The Miami edition introduced me to these Bertoli frozen meals. They are so good - not too bad for you - and on sale right now. Gotta love it.

I am making taco pie for a work retreat for tomorrow. So unhealthy, it's disgusting. But tasty too. I got the recipe about a year ago from my jew for jesus high school Spanish teacher!

Living situations: Adult Life

Today, I did my yearly credit check and my combined score was 733. How cool! On some of the forms were my various addresses. Thus, I was thinking about the evolution of my living situations over the years. I will focus this entry on the chronology of living situations during my "adult" life, and how my life has gotten progressively more expensive.

So, since 18, I've lived in lots of living situations:

• 1) St. Paul/Mac - Turck dorm, on what was called the "orgy floor", with Kris Lundell - 1997-1998


• 2) Off-campus slum with 7 students (Tony, Christine, Jesso, Kris, Ruth, Terri, me) people on Portland Ave @ Snelling in St. Paul; no AC; across from gas station. I technically shared a basement, but slept with my gf at the time on a bed with an incline and various coils coming out of it. Other roommate lived literally (and figuratively) in a closet. I think I paid about $100 a month for rent. - Summer 1998


• 3) Wallace dorm in the basement - cool "triple" with Jesse and Kris- 1998-1999


• 4) Mom's house in suburban Ft. Lauderdale - lived with gf, mom, her freeloading boyfriend, and his family: namely his convicted sex offender son, and tennis "prodigy" grandaughter - Summer 1999


• 5) Capetown/Langa, South Africa (a) homestay in the township of Langa, where I shared a bathroom with no toilet seat, or lock, or window shades on the window with 3 host siblings (Simo, Bhukosi, Zozo, and mama Nomaliza) and, (b) homestay in the more ritzy Tokai, where I lived with my friend Danai and her family friend, Lesedi, his wife, and adorable daughter, Denayo; only problem with that spot was the water pressure in the shower sort of sucked. And I was pretty isolated. Can't remember what I paid. - Fall 1999


• 6) Hedonist House (Portland @ Wheeler) - I lived in this disgusting/dirty house with dark and dingy party basement, shag carpet with a motley crew of intelligent and opinionated characters (Shane, Brianne, Ruth, Saskia, Emily, and for a short time, Sam), ranging from sado-masochists to Christians speaking in tounges. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun, with lingerie and Eurotrash and frat-mock parties. I paid $150 a month for a room called "the womb" which was a walk-through. But, again, I slept in my gf's room on a futon without a frame, i.e. on the floor. This is the last time I chose to live with Christmas lights. - 1999-2001


• 7) Northern VA - I lived in a luxury condo in suburban D.C. We had a concierge, a pool, and a dry cleaner in the building. I shared a room with Jason, but there were 3 guys total (Mookie and Christian). There was a lot of strife (including a ketchup situation), but I was the popular one who everybody wanted to with. The apartment was fully paid for by the internship program, but was worth $2400 total, so $600 each (for 4). I thought we were super rich - Summer 1999


• 8) Stanford, CA - I lived in Lantana Hall at Stanford U for free. I ate really good toasted sesame dressing on virtually everything in the dining hall. - Summer 2001


• 9) West Hartford, CT - Lived for 3 days in Clemen's Place, which was ghetto and they basically held me hostage over a parking issue. Then, I moved to the dining room of a nicer 1 bedroom colonial-style spot, where I lived with Melanie (and her boyfriend at the time, Kelvin). I paid about $400 a month, which I thought was steep at the time. The place had a very royal blue color scheme, which was not my thang. And one of those creeky metal-framed futons. 2001-2002


• 10) Kenilworth, IL/Chicago- Lived in a ritzy North Shore suburb of Chicago with Andrea's wonderful family for free. I will never forget their kindness in extending their home to me. Summer 2002


• 11) West Hartford, CT - Lived for 2 years (longest in adult life) with Andrea (and her girlfriend, Cindy) in a spacious 2 bedroom pad, with a separate living and family room. I paid about $470 a month, which was a stretch. My mom furnished this place, and it was the first time I felt like a real adult living on my own. Best landlord ever - Lou Peck, I love you! 2002-2004


• 12) Bolton, CT - Again, lived with friend (Anita's) parents in a fun and exciting house for free! This was a good time with really good food! - Spring 2004 ....We miss you a lot, Arun :(


• 13) Berkeley, CA - Lived for $375 a month (all-inclusive) in a UC-Berkeley law student dorm room/studio (250 sq ft) with kitchenette, which we rented, site-unseen and shared with Anita. - Summer 2004
  


• 14) San Francisco, CA - Moved to North Beach and rented the best value in the frikkin world - $2200 total rent-controlled/$550 a month for gargantuan room with Bay views (actually the huge landslide issue that occurred earlier this year was in my backyard, See: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/02/27/BAG6GOBV263.DTL). Lived with Anita and Alex, and Andrea. Lot's of "A's" but we never noticed it. - Fall 2004


• 15) San Francisco, CA - Moved to essentially an adult frat house in Nob Hill (my 'hood in SF) with Laith, Adeel, and Alex. We also had a guest bedroom. This was a LOT of fun - lots of people over, impromptu parties, debauchery, and silliness. There was always someone awake. I lived with Christmas lights, after a multiyear hiatus, under protest. Overall, the place was a sty. I paid $600 a month, which again, seemed like a lot. - 2004-2005


• 16) San Francisco, CA - Moved a few blocks downhill to the Tendernob. Trannie prostitutes hung out by my front door. Got my 1st apartment to myself, a small 1-bedroom for $1000 a month, which was my big jump. 2005-2006


• 17) Washington, DC - Moved across country. Thought things would be less expensive, but they were A LOT more. Sharing an apartment originally with Ahmed, who moved to Dubai, and now with Bill, an absentee roommate for whom this a 3d home. Granite counters, washer-dryer, jets in the bathtub - but my portion is $1200 a month, plus semi-monthly maid service. 2006-present

The one I think about the most was the one in Nob Hill with the guys/the frat house. This was the last time I really felt young and free. It's where I figured out a lot about myself. I will never forget that situation, pee on the bathroom floor and cigar smoke enveloping me, and all!

Gawd - I am scared about what's next?! How much money I would save if I were to pay $150 a month. Those were the days!

Crime and Consumerism.... and Consulting!

I feel like I've exhibited a trend in writing about crime and consumerism. But, I can't stop.
So, from all the consumerism sagas, what was the end result you ask?

• I wrote to Chipotle because they overcharged me for a salad, and they actually responded... with a "burrito buck."
• The "supervisor" at Potbelly called me and gave me a bogus answer about their nutritional information. Basically, they said that because each sandwich artist makes milkshakes from scratch, that each one has a different calorie count. And, that they aren't a huge multinational like McDonald's, which does not allow them to determine this info. They also say that they need to be careful because people may have allergies. I was incensed by these answers, but then realized that they don't really matter in the large scheme of things.
• Maggie Moo's and Baja Fresh never wrote back.

Am I an old Jewish grandfather?

• Then, I had a new, really crap situation (kind of like last year's with Overstock) with my washer-dryer, that my landlord ordered -- from US Appliance. I waited for it all day last Monday. They showed up an hour later than the end of their quoted time frame, and tried to leave it ON THE CURB! They refused to bring it up. I got a little Ricki Lake on the delivery man (who I should have off the record offered money to, to take it upstairs) and they took it back. My landlord had to come here from NY to receive it.

In sum, these companies suck. Is France better in this regard? Gosh I love the idea of France.

Speaking of Rikki Lake, my mom was in town this weekend. We continued work on Sarah's lovely apartment. We went to the Home Depot shopping center in Eckington and, let me tell you, this place is kooky!

Warning -- more consumer talk: First, we went to Home Depot. My mom and I tried to wave at these little babies and the mother flashed my ma and I the evil eye. Then, we tried to engage a person to purchase thousands of dollars of plantation shutters, and they basically ignored us. Then, I asked a person next to the washers/dryers if they could install it and the salesperson said, "you should ask someone else." Ricockulous!

Then, Sarah and I went across the street to AJ Wright, a cheaper Marshalls. Sarah waited on line for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, all this stuff happened.

• I sat next to this little 7 year old who asked me a million questions about whether I liked candy, and then she showed me all the features on her cell phone.
• Then, her mother whacked her brother so hard that the wind got knocked out of him.
• Then, I hear a salesman yell "AMIGO" and run outside to catch a hella drunkard who is wearing a shirt he stole with the security ink tag still on. They negotiated, the clerk unleashed ink on him, and he walked away.
• Then, someone came up to the kid sitting next to me and said "I have bad news, __________ is in jail again." They were all annoyed.
• Then, Sarah and I traversed the hot parking lot. We transported some mums to her car, and she closed the door. Lo and behold, 15 minutes after the ink unleashing, drunk-as-a-skunk "AMIGO" aggressively walked up to our car, tried to open the door, and smooshed his face against Sarah's window. We drove away.
  
  Anyway, I have a cold. That sucks. The absolute worst part about being an adult is that nobody cares when you are sick, and half the time people don't believe you.
  
  I consulted this morning. I can't believe I am a consultant. It makes me feel very special. And, I am working for this hella cool organization that I totally believe in. And, they recruited me for a full-time position, but I could not live where their headquarters are location. Heck no. But, this organization's constituents, to whom I presented today, were the coolest cats ever. And, I feel like the homecoming king (or better) because they embraced me.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

This song lyric "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need" was part of this horrible fringe festival lounge-singer-themed play I went to. It sort of sums up the perspective I have found myself espousing lately.

I don't know where it came from, but, as of late, I find myself advising people to consider Plan B, and to settle. I am not talking in the relationship realm - but I am talking in the career realm.

I think it's an impending 30's thing.

Here are some examples:

• My wonderful friend is an actress who moved to NY to make it big. All that's happening are big bills. She isn't auditioning all that much and things are just not working out. I am encouraging her to consider other jobs in the acting field, like teaching, voice-overs, etc.
  
• My wonderful friend who wants to be a film-maker, but has a job at a University where she can earn a free degree - but not specifically in film. I am encouraging her to take the free degree in the most relevant fields possible and to work on films on the side (as opposed to incurring big debt for a gratuitous grad program).
• A friend who finished her grad degree and was unemployed for almost a year was terminated. She works at Trader Joe's part-time. I told her to consider moving to a cheaper city, like Denver, where the jobs are less competitive.

I used to be a dreamer - what happened? I have found that lots of people drive themselves batty about finding perfection in their jobs and lives. However, I think you can find happiness short of circumstantial perfection. Is this optimistic?

To see-saw a bit...

I found this week's onbeing on the Washington Post to be compelling. Basically, this dude was hit by a city bus and lost 9 years of memory. With a compromised memory, he found himself in a job he hated, with friends who were toxic. Basically, the amnesia made him realize that he was living his life based on habit, rather than altering elements that drained him. In sum, just because one day is one way, does not mean that the next day has to follow in a certain way.

I think living somewhere in between these perspectives is healthiest. Look at the good in your situation and don't expect perfection, but evaluate and change the things (friendships, work) that are truly weighing you down.

labyrinthitis

This year has been full of interesting new things.

On Saturday, I went to Rehobeth Beach with Sarah and Dawn. I laid down on the sand, and put a towel over my eyes. When I sat up, my world started spinning. I quickly closed my eyes and laid down again and it only got worse. And scarier. The only reason I didn't go to the ER is because I had just seen Sicko for the 2d time. (I want to move to France.)
Things didn't really improve for me. So, 4 days later/today, I went to the doctor. I had a terrible test called: Dix-Hallpike where they manipulated my head to induce the terrible dizziness.
Turns out I have labyrinthitis, for which vertigo is a major symptom.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/labyrinthitis/article_em.htm
It sucks.

Consumer

I wrote a bunch of companies that were pissing me off last night, including Potbelly (see below), Baja Fresh, and Maggie Moo's.

Re: Baja Fresh, my co-worker bought me a cap, which I left there. When I went to retrieve it a day later, they told me they threw it in the garbage.

Then, pursuant to this scary as hell article about the calories and fat in desserts:
http://food.yahoo.com/blog/hungrygirl/9000/scary-sweet-hg-s-restaurant-dessert-
shockers-and-awesome-alternatives/

I wrote Maggie Moo's and Potbelly's.

Re: Maggie Moo's, they won't let me order a kiddie size, and I have to throw 1/2 of their small size in the garbage.

Re: Potbelly, look at this ridiculous e-mail chain:

Me to Potbelly:
I went to Potbelly to get a yogurt smoothie. I asked for nutritional information (fat, calories) and they said they had none at the store. They instead sent me to the website, which does not list nutritional facts for any desserts, including shakes and smoothies. Even McDonald's lists this information. Very disappointing and odd. Why do you leave this information off?

Their response:
Hi Andrew ~

We're sorry for leaving you disappointed. The information we have posted is all that we have available and wanted provide what we had. I am excited to tell you that we're in the process of revising that analysis to include our entire menu and hope to have results soon. Sorry about the delay.

Best regards,
Laura Berrones
Speaker of the House
Potbelly Sandwich Works

My two responses:

#1: Thanks Laura, for your quick response.

I am confused. Are you saying that you don't know the caloric and fat content for your desserts? It is hopefully available internally. Can you let me know how many fat and calories are in a chocolate yogurt smoothie?

#2: Hi Laura,
I have spoken to a bunch of people and we all think it is an absurd and egregious statement that you don't have nutritional information "available" for items of food that you sell. Please put your supervisor in touch with me promptly.
Sincerely,
Andrew

Sketchola

Tonight I had a strange day.

I realized I love Subway's veggie patty. MMM.

I had a late lunch and 3 hour consultative session with a friend who I ultimately decided should leave consulting.

For dinner, I went to Lauriol Plaza with members of UVA Law's federalist society; with people who were saying "Dubya" was a good guy, and that they loved Scalia; who praised Romney as a candidate because they shared his values. The most interesting part of the whole thing is that there was no intellectual meat supporting their pronouncements. Let me say that this group donning nothing but Ralph Lauren (literally) were nothing but cordial to me. But, I will not miss seersucker and pearls if/when I leave D.C.

I also will not miss the sketchiness of this city. About 15 minutes ago, Laura and I walked from Lauriol to the bus stop where we usually wait for the 90 bus to whisk her home. On the way, I noticed a sketchy character who I felt watching me; we were in a busy area, but I could tell he was skillfully eyeing us and choreographing his moves accordingly. Meanwhile, he was wearing very baggy clothes and seemed to be checking his pockets a whole lot. Last night was my boss's going away party and my co-worked was telling us that he was mugged in right around that area a while back, so perhaps I was more vigilant than normal. Nevertheless, it was freaky - the chess game - our movements and his. And, I am 90% sure that he planned to mug us. We decided for Laura to take a cab in front of my place. While we waited, we noticed him approach us and when we made eye contact he turned around. The cab was worth every penny.

Macalester

Here is a scathing editorial in the Star Tribune by conservative columnist Katherine Kersten about my alma mater:
http://www.startribune.com/kersten/story/1230403.html

Here is our President's response:
http://www.startribune.com/scripts/setpass.php?goto=http://www.startribune.com/commentary/story/1241939.html

My YouTube Hall of Fame

I had a leisurely Sunday today and decided to compile my list of my favorite YouTube destinations. Enjoy!

Talk Shows:
Penis Power: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAwLYJYsa0A
Geraldo v. O'Reilly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPuGuaZTx8
Rosie v. Elizabeth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=817CwlvqjAk
Tyra (Too Many to List):

• America's Next Top Model: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HexJugIqWU8

• Vaseline: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym75B0YkZR8

• Vaseline: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwYMHkZgLg

Music:
Why Do You Think You Are Nuts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjbtnMz6eQw
Hasselhoff Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgX-hiQdfFw
Remind Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBvaHZIrt0o
Hot! Hot! Hot!/Appalachian State: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVENWl8uBeg
Dick in A Box: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Japan:
Take Anything You Want: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W1VY4b9IQQ
Komodo Dragon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUkzFQNHq9c
Prank Show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBSLMGNHuGM
Tongue-Twister: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdFW-hrGX7g

Other:
Breakdancing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqS9N7WJOFY
The Landlord: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74
Otters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno
Obsession: http://www.obsessionthemovie.com/trailer-12min.php

Tell me what you think!

Old Times

So lots of reconnections to the past lately. Making me question whether I am going soon or something.

- Seen my long-term exes - my ex of 5.5 years who I haven't seen in 4 years (who brought her mother in tow), and my ex of 2 years who I haven't seen in 7 years (who is married to someone I introduced her to and they have twins), in the last month. Both encounters went well.

- Went back to CT for Arun's funeral for the first time in 3 years; it is NOT for me and hasn't changed a bit. It felt strange to be back - especially given the 3 year intervals from first visiting, to graduating, to being away - and the shifts in my perceptions of the place during that time. I don't know if and when I'll ever go back; what would bring me there...

- Going to Puerto Rico next week (my bday present) for the first time in 15 years.

That's a lot to take in, no?

The weather here has been very nice and breezy. Today I spent a relaxed day in Eastern Market with a friend named John.

While waiting for him, I needed a snack and grabbed and devoured a juicy peach, which reminded me of when I first moved to the Bay Area and revelled in the novelty of fresh produce. I also read an article about the disappearance of bees - which they hypothesize is because of over-harvesting (mass transportation, feeding corn syrup, etc.)

My friend and I had time just walking around, sitting in a cafe, and at the park, and discussing interesting topics. I haven't done that in a while. Our conversations shifted from career issues - that people/friends feel victimized by choice of careers and trying to find that perfect job; and that that problem is a privilege - to transgendered people's perception of transgendered people of the opposite persuasion.

Wandering aimlessly is good.

PS: My roommate and I are hiring a maid to do deep-cleaning. I feel that this is a new rite of passage for me, but one that I am ready for.

Arun

The world lost a great man this weekend: Arun Pereira.

I lived with this wonderful man (the father of a very dear friend) who was so loving and full of life in 2004. He opened his Bolton, CT home to me as a member of his family. He and his wife Probhati made me feel completely comfortable despite feeling displaced in Connecticut. He made the most delicious South Asian food, including beef vindaloo from Heaven, which made me the desi food snob that I am today. He took so much pride in his food; I can't believe I will never enjoy those tastes again. He was a person who got so excited about the simple things in life - food, family, friends, parties, drinking, smoking, scheming and dreaming. What a scrappy and smart entrepreneur! Arun knew how to live. He had a magnetic way about him. We talked about all kinds of things, from law to casinos to family. He was an adventurer, moving to California in his last few years - and opening a restaurant in Davis. His philosophy, which he shared with my brother-in-law, was "we come into this world with empty hands and we die with empty hands." With his departure from this world, he leaves many hearts, including mine, feeling hollow.

When my friend Joe in South Africa was murdered I had a crazy apocalyptic dream. Specifically, I was driving around Minneapolis really late at night. The streets were quiet and a bell started to toll. Some kind of toxic gas had been dropped and we were dying of asphyxiation. The world was ending. I woke up from the dream sweating and gasping for air. I looked at the clock and went back to bed. I woke up, received an e-mail that Joe had been murdered.

Yesterday, at about 5 am, right around the time Arun passed away, I woke up from a similar dream. I was driving through a toll booth in Seattle, late at night, when all the sudden the whole city was under attack. The sky was red and there was no escape.

Low Cost Weekend

I had, for once, a mighty low-cost weekend, which I am happy about. Today was a day of domestic bliss.

Today, after watching a marathon of Top Chef (which has motivated me to want to cook), I performed a belated Spring cleaning, which consisted of seperating out and stowing away all of my Winter gear and disposing of my wire hangers, and replacing same with uniform plastic hangers. I spoke to my mom for a while. She is very excited about a number of entrepreneurial ventures that she wants to pursue as a recent retiree, which mostly involve cooking and decorating. She was exclamatory today about some of the ideas we brainstormed, that my heart was warmed. And, then I went over to Mike's house. We did fun things, like pick lettuce from his backyard, make chocolate cake without a recipe, and play Boggle and Balderdash - I lost both and don't care, which feels liberating. You know what was especially nice about tonight is that I barely spoke about relationships, which as you approach your late 20's, becomes the core of single peoples' lives in a nauseating way.

One of the things I associate with Mike's house is a Chilean drink which consists of about 1/2 beer, and 1/2 Fanta. I love how the beer cuts the sweetness, and the Fanta, the bitterness. What a blend! (Incidentally, I also love kahlua and orange juice, which together, tastes simultaneously like a tootsie roll and a creamsicle).

So, today was a triumph; except for my queue of clothing that needs to go to the dry cleaners and charity.

Masons

Tonight we had a game night. We played the game mafia. See: http://frob.com/connector/mafia.html

It's an interesting game because people either love it or hate it. As such, it's hard to organize b/c you never get buy-in from the whole crowd. It bothers me when people say there is no merit to the game. I think it's clearly a psychological game - similar to poker. You decide who people choose based on relationships, reactions, nonverbals, reverse psychology. It's a game about perception.

Another game that I have become obsessed with is "jawbreaker"; a game I play on my cell phone. I am so obsessed that I have played almost 2000 games (those are just the recorded ones). It is the perfect way to pass time when I am waiting. The reason why I don't know the exact number of games I've played is because I cancel any game where I am not going to beat my median score of 204.

I have been interviewing to become a freemason - mostly for the experience. Until today, I did not feel completely "sold" on this ancient fraternity. Nonetheless, I have been going through a series of interviews and meetings. But I met two folks today who I found to be very fascinating and brilliant people; people who were very different from me, but who I related to on this really interesting level; people who could compliment my life with substance and nonpolitical spiritual and philosophical discussion. I am now confused.

New Money

Steph and I attended a rival university's reunion today. It was lacking one main ingredient... fun! At least that was our perception.

I had an interesting discussion/debate with Stephanie about old vs. new money. I prefer new money; Steph prefers old. Both of our perspectives are based on our socializations. Steph was raised in New Canaan and found old money folks to be very welcoming, philanthropic, and with a calmer demeanor. My perception of old money, in contrast, is based on attending law school in CT with "Skips" and "Trips", and interactions with two folks in particular:
1) a man from college who is bleeding money who borrowed money from me and before paying me back made a contribution to my college; he also criticizes anybody who works in corporate America (even poor immigrants trying to support their families), even though he is a teacher who drives a hybrid and lives large in SF. He is the type to criticize poor people for eating fast food instead of organic fruit.
2) a woman from law school who described the deeply-ingrained habit of incest and molestation in her family.
Meanwhile, my perception of new money is colored by the scrappy, materialistic, upward mobility of my family; being Jewish and Puerto Rican -- I've seen their struggles and seen them rise up the ranks (also members of both of my backgrounds have no choice but to be new money based on their historical relationships to the US). Moreover, I am loud, and love Extreme Makeover (a recent episode, involving a cleft palate, made me cry tears of extreme joy). Stephanie thinks these people are gauche and loud and drive Hummers. And, she's right... We're both right...
Steph and I did disagree over who was more likely to be Republican. I posit it is old money, due to dynasties and generations of wealth preservation/a great interest in estate tax issues.

Anyway, on the cab ride home, the frikkin cab guy charged me for two zones plus a $1 gas surcharge and even after I called him on it, he insisted I pay $9.80. it really pissed me off. I didn't give him a tip. I even slammed the door on him. How new money of me. However, the freemasons really want me. What a paradox I am.

Sundry

Sorry - it's been a while.

Been very busy at work. My boss is leaving and crunch time is upon me. It's weird to feel this busy during the Summer.

I'm approaching my 1 year work anniversary. Time actually flew. Sort of. I've learned a lot about life in the last year; working for a large university has been very interesting. I think I've learned that politics reign over substance with regard to career advancement; that if you stroke the right egos and put on a good show, that goes a lot farther than if you are a logical perfectionist.

My mom retired today. It's hard for me to swallow because I always associated her with her job. Now, she is free as a bird. For both she and I it is also hard symbolically because it represents the last phase of her life. Part of me wishes she would continue working so I don't have to think about this. One of the interesting things about her retirement is that she's taught at the same school for like 30 years. She's seen so many people come and go, including probably 10 principals. At the end of the day, she has very few friends and confidants at work, due to all the shifting. I think as a result they didn't really pay homage to her. I see all these people leaving my university who have been there for a year getting more recognition than my mom who has dedicated her life to this position. It sort of ills me.

On the other hand, I am very jealous that my mom gets an excellent retirement....

One thing about my line of work that is remarkable is that I NEVER dread going to work; I actually sort of look forward to it. I hear people around me say they have a hard time getting up in the morning. I feel the opposite. And, when I worked in law -- trust me -- I felt differently. I would watch the clock tick and think "how long could I last in this job without cracking?"

I hate when there is too much pressure to get along with someone you've never met before. Tonight was odd for me. I was buying sunglasses at Filene's basement and speaking with my mom on my cell when the clerk asked me politely if I was selling my phone. Weird. Afterwards, I met my friend Kate's friend Tim who she said I reminded her of me. I think we both felt a lot of pressure to get along, which resulted in him being timid and me being serious/strangely political. After we discussed politics, we asked for Tim's input and he replied, I can't wait to move to NY to escape these kinds of conversations. I've said that before.

I have never outright neglected so many relationships as I have in D.C. over the past few months. There are literally too many cool people who I have a past with and not enough time. I think I have damaged some of these relationships irreparably.

Over the last few weeks, I've traveled to Chicago and Philadelphia, which are sort of similar cities. I hadn't been to the Midwest for a few years prior to my recent trip to Chicago. While I enjoyed myself, it reminded me of the summer I spent there where I was less-than-enchanted with my life. I do have to admit that their housing prices are damn good. It was very interesting to see my high school sweetheart, Kim, whom I hadn't seen in maybe 6 years. She has twins and lives in the 'burbs. She is so down-to-earth, and a good mom. We have really taken vastly different life paths; both are respectable. She is moving to South Carolina in June and I'm not sure I'll ever be there. So, it's sort of sad.

I had a nice time in the gritty city of Philly. Saw Carousel (a play I've sang 4 songs from). It was dark and the last part was weird and the lady next to me coughed on me the whole time. But it was fun enough. Met some really interesting folks through Jen. One of the most notable things about this city was the diversity.

Also been to NY a few more time. Caught up with Danai (who has another play and a movie coming out) and Wendell.

Spent very few weekends here.

Today, I went to the chiropractor. Early.

Missing Out

I just realized the way I can make tangible my feelings of not being in San Francisco.
I feel like I'm missing out.
It's like when you have to study for a test, but your favorite band is playing in a building next door. Or when your friends are eating at your favorite Indian restaurant, but you are stuck at home with a TV dinner.
And, it's weird b/c I have a pretty ideal life here in D.C. filled with lots of interesting people (more than I can keep track of) and a job I really like. I live in a beautiful apartment in a great part of town. I *should* be totally satisfied.
But, San Francisco is that concert or Indian restaurant. Coupled with the feeling that time is 'a-tickin'/life is finite/time is running out, it is sort of a stressful feeling.
I oftentimes wonder/worry (like when I was on the grocery line yesterday), however, that when I get back and miss everything I take for granted here in D.C. Will I experience something akin to Garden State?
I had lunch with Bryony yesterday. She is someone who inspires me to think out loud. And, I realized that D.C. is too conformist and pragmatic for me; and that context leads me to different ways of life. San Francisco inspired me to go to farmers markets and eat raw foods, to get involved in musical theatre, to have conversations about human cheese and lucid dreams. In D.C., I work and go out to eat, and watch tv, and go home.

Good Lawyer

I don't know if the average person gets this, but all the time people tell me that though they chose not to go to law school they would be a great lawyer. I wonder if those same people that say that know how many other people say this. And, how meaningless what they say is. And, how that is exactly what I used to say (and what I was told my whole life). And, if they know what it really takes to be a good lawyer -- a great attention span and attention to detail, the willingness to work more hours, the ability to work well independently, and some combination of avarice/pride/or unbridled passion for an issue (and if it's passion that's the driving force, being OK w/ a middle-class life). Being argumentative, brilliant, and extroverted are not the key ingredients of a good lawyer (though they obviously don't hurt).

Also, last night's democratic debate made my day. It was wonderful.

Also, I am starting to create a corps of service professionals who make me smile (you know how happy Guddu makes me). I got a "clean up" haircut last night at fiddleheads. I love that place! Friendly and fun, and talented doo-dressers. I love Sarah's concierge, Winnie. The guy who cleans my office, Tony, is the sunshine of my life. The owner of Java Green, he's a great man!

Postsecret

Tonight I went with Mike to a really cool art expo thingie called Artomatic in Crystal City (they basically take an abandoned or to-be-renovated office building and turn it into a gargantuan multimedia artists lair).

The most riveting things I saw were (1) this project called postsecret (www.postsecret.com), where people share a secret on an anonymous postcard for the world to see; check it out; send one in (2) a kissing booth, where you and your friend each pick a disenfranchised country out of a box, pose for a picture holding your country, and kiss and make up on behalf of these countries, (3) a really cool yellow photograph for $50 framed that I want and will probably purchase after I finish this blog. (whoops I have the wrong website for it).

I also watched a "blacklight fire dance". The worst part was this uninspired 10-year old girl, who was like the girl from Little Miss Sunshine sans personality. It's amazing how much confidence can make a difference.

I have also recently decided that I want pursue this fad "lemonade" cleanse/diet starting next Sunday: http://www.falconblanco.com/health/cleansing/lemoncleanse.htm
I am so excited for my concoction of fresh lemons, grade B maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for 10 days that I can hardly contain myself.

Today, the weather was perfect in the same way that the weather was perfect on a Spring day in Minnesota. Everybody sits outside in tank tops with their doggies, and radios, and food -- just because. It's loverly.

Nashvegas

My 15 minutes of fame was fun! The best part was that is gave me an excuse to send a short e-mail to everybody I know - from my high school spanish teacher (who is a Jew for Jesus) to my wacky/brilliant law school professor (who is going to show it in his class). Geraldo has apparantly seen it too!

The weirdest part was being accosted on the street by a random woman who squealed and took a picture with me.

I went to Nashville to visit Petey. I had a very nice time. Nashville was a lot of fun; he lives in this cool area which somehow others perceive to be sketchy, but my sketchydar is a little out of whack after living in D.C. It seemed perfectly safe to me.

Peter has this wonderful eclectic group of friends out there. The highlights of my trip were spending quality time with Peter (watching him get a haircut) and Cindy (getting an acupressure chair massage with her at the Opry Mills Mall). And, going to a concert with Petey's buddy bear (a wonderfully interesting Nashville expert/descendant of Thomas Jefferson) Gia. Well, it was supposed to be a rally for Edwards that got cancelled (due to the VA Tech tragedy). We went to the Ryman, a pretty historic spot, and instead of politicking in the traditional sense - they brought Vince Gill from off the golf course, and Ashley Judd, and others and they sang solemn songs and it was just totally moving - especially the call-and-response version of Amazing Grace that we sung.

The plane trip back was rocky. On the plane, I sat next to an off-duty commercial pilot and there were German high school exchange students (1/2 of the plane at least) who screamed with every bump. It lightened the experience.

The one thing about Nashville that I didn't love was how smoky the bars were.
I am now sick at home with a cold that isn't quite debilitating, but rather yields magical, flourescent phlegm. I have been eating Asian food exclusively - which is a family tradition for us; something about the lack of dairy, the spice, the ginger, the hot tea perhaps? Call us crazy!

My roommate has been around and has been uber-friendly. I realize now the ultimate sign of a roommate liking you is when they speak to you through your door without knocking.

I am really into my new Nouvelle Vague/Bande a Part CD. I bought one for Petey for his bday.

Yo

Hey - random stuff:
1) My boss (who recruited me to leave CA) is leaving (for CA). Many things may change around work and in my life. More details to follow.
2) My office (that I love so dearly) is moving. Apparently my new one is even larger, so no harm, no foul.
3) I was nominated (thanks to Katie Miller) and interviewed for a documentary series called "onbeing" put out by the Washington Post. A lot of people are going to know me as of this Wednesday. They basically condense a 3-hour interview into a less than 4-minute documentary that I won't see until it goes live. The weird thing about my interview is it made me realize how nice it would be to have a therapist. I wasn't 100-percent my normal self, or how I thought I would be. I didn't tell any of my stock stories (about uvulas, Iceland, childhood garage sales), or discuss kombucha. I mostly mused a lot more about my life and drew some important connections about how my socialization truly shaped me to be who I am today - however trite that may sound.
4) I am going to Nashville, Tennessee this upcoming weekend to visit my buddy bear Petey and am mighty excited about it.
5) Today we had a fun Easter party, and ate handmade potstickers, drank fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice, and played win, lose, or draw. My friends here are first class.
6) Last night I saw a wonderful movie called "The Lives of Others". The ending disappointed me, and made me feel like a total capitalist.
7) I am so proud of Geraldo after watching a Youtube video where he creams Bill O'Reilly on the issues of free speech and immigration. Go watch it now.
8) I discovered the hippy haven of Mt. Pleasant this weekend. My friend Mike knows the city really well and is generally a good person to know and have in your/my life. He hosted a really fun sedar this weekend. I like singing the Hebrew songs.
9) Last weekend, Jessica, Doug, and niece and nephew were here. We ate lots of vegan food per their new diet and I sort of dug it. We did the kite festival, the Natural History Museum, the carousel on the mall, the monuments, the zoo, and lots of restaurants. It was good bonding. Doug my bro-in-law gave me a lot of his clothes, including Gucci pants that probably cost $500. I have a whole new wardrobe. Some of them don't technically fit me, but it's worth the squeeze. (Though not with shoes - my pinky toe is achey breaky!)
10) I hosted a crew regatta on Georgetown Harbour this weekend. It was cold and entailed lots of standing.
11) I saw a church production Godspell this weekend (this version was set on the D.C. Metro). And I enjoyed it. It was very interactive, and I was at the center of audience participation (one of the cast members, a friend, sold me out for this purpose) I am on a CD-ordering kick. At the aforesaid sedar I discovered Nouvelle band a parte, and ordered it (a French band that does an interesting array of cover songs). I also got Avenue Q pursuant to my last post.

NY

Basically, my generally nonexistent roommate has been around, confirming to me that I am meant to live alone (but I don't want to sign a 1-year lease, oh the dilemma). I got home on Wednesday at about 9 pm. He put the chain lock on the door, so I knocked and he let me in and flashed me a dirty look.

So, because I wanted to escape the roommate, I decided to go to NY this weekend and it all worked out a little too perfectly.

I literally decided about 10 minutes before I left work Friday (after deciding not to go and making tentative plans for the weekend here). My bus trips were only 4 hours each way -- and I didn't reserve or prepay. I had such a blast. The weather was gorgeous. I ate tons of great food. Hung out a lot in the East Village. I am sorry, U St. and Adams Morgan can't compare, though Ave. A reminds me of 24th St. in the Mission, but less scary.

NY is just so cool. I can't believe I EVER compared it to D.C. (i.e. when I was in law school). What ever was I thinking? It feels so safe. The food is so yummy and there is so much variety. There is so much stuff going on late night. There is so much diversity - every color, shape, and size is represented. I don't find it overwhelming at all. I probably need to still live there. Darn, I am confused. I wish I got to live multiple lives.

The highlight of the weekend was seeing Avenue Q (and of course hanging out with Beverly and Priscilla). I have been wanting to see the play for the last 3 years and had such high expectations. I had heard the music, but the context for this is everything. I went with Beverly and the play was sold out. We lost the lottery, but someone who won sold us their tickets, so we had nose bleeds. Anyway, I love the play. It is hilarious. I mean, the content is so dark, but it is presented in this really unique way that makes it so light-hearted and endearing. My favorite line is at the end, which says "Sometimes life is scary, but it's only temporary."

Today I saw my brother Dale and his family in Rye. This is the first time I have hung out with family from my dad's side since he passed away. Dale and I have a very natural bond, though we are very different; he is a die-hard republican, and a Mr. Fix-it/tech maven. He thinks it's crazy that I have travelled to Iceland and Israel and eat Indian and know about churrascarias. But, we have a lot of like for each other. And respect. We went "geocaching", which is like treasure-hunting. Apparantly, it's this hot thing that people are obsessed with. There are all these folk terms for geocache muggers, and the like. We went through a marsh and it was a lot of fun. My niece, Amelia, is 10 and seems very well-adjusted. It was great to talk about dad. I know -- wherever he is -- he is happy that Dale and I spent the day together.

Seems like my sister is coming to visit in D.C. Doug decided all of the sudden that he wanted to come to D.C., so after virtually begging her for the last 6 months with no firm committment (mainly b/c I want to spend time with Parker and Emma), it seems like it's going to happen. We had a little argument about them staying at the Mandarin Oriental, which is in SW. I told them it was sketchy - but they were like "it's on the tidal basin" and I was like, "and?" I find his level of power in the relationship so frustrating, but I am not going to lose sleep about it. They know what I think and I've thought it for so long that it really has no bearing on anything.

Dreams and Obsessions

Today I was walking to work. The weather has been good so I was all peppy; especially because I passed through a protest. Then I saw this big mass of people, which was exciting and reminded me of NY. Then I realized the mass of people was due to a fire drill in a large office building. But, whatev.

I keep on having the recurring nightmare about watching airplanes crash in mid-air. Last night it was a quazi-lucid dream, which totally freaked me out. Sarah and I were together -- flying American airlines, but our plane was delayed (which is relevant to our recent flight out of Austin). Meanwhile, a Delta airliner just stopped in mid-air, suspended for about 5 seconds and just belly-flopped into the ground. The weird part about the dream was that in the dream I freaked out because my recurring nightmare had come "true".

I have been plagued by recurring nightmares to include:

1) A version of Chinese water torture involving dabbing ketchup on my face.
2) A series of dreams about my teeth crumbling into dust or falling out, i.e. chewing into an apple (at Applebees)
3) A dream about being miniaturized and stuck in a glass of water (which I recently found out happened to a mouse in my friend's house).

I also realize that I no longer have an obsession. I used to be obsessed with colleges, but now that that's my job, I can sort of let it go. In my life I have been obsessed with:
1) track housing communities in South Florida (I used to know all the included features for every community)
2) cruise ships (I used to know the gross tonnage of every commercial cruise liner in the world; I was also a superstar in my high school oceanography class)
3) tennis rankings
4) colleges (I read the entire Lisa Birnbaum college guide 8 years before I was to go to college and concluded that Pepperdine and Rhodes College were my two top choices - that was back when I considered myself a "Republican" which I dropped ONLY b/c my mom dated an Armenian con man named Berge who was a devout member of the GOP; I guess everyone serves a purpose)

A random sad note is that one of my favorite dishes - the chicken crepe salad at Raku (hold the cucumbers, and add extra sesame dressing) is no longer. Laura and I used to go exclusively for this dish. Let us remember the good old days.

Hippy Backpacking Gypsys

Hippies
Growing up, my mom was anti-hippy. In contrast, I have always considered myself to have a special affinity for hippies. My ex is a modern-day hippy, and her mom certainly was and is.
I think because of this my mom sort of likes hippies now. However, my friends insist that I am a yuppy; not a hippy at all. While that was sort of confirmed in SF, when after Dana's birthday, we went to my fave 80's bar in the Mission, Delerium, and one of my friends overheard the bartender asking "what are all these yuppies doing here?" I actually sort of revel in that.

I guess this sort of disturbed me because in Washington, DC, I definitely thought I was as countercultural as one can be. OK, so I don't do drugs, or act in a "free love" manner, I shower regularly, and I don't recycle. I actually used to do all those things a lot more because I respect it all. (Alumni Directors should wear cord jackets with elbow patches, not nose rings). Doesn't ideology count for something? So, either I am a deactivated hippy or I am not a hippy. Whatever.

Backpacking
So, my mom and I "travelled" around Europe (Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic) after I graduated from college. I always said we backpacked, but these same friends call me on that lingo as well. They insist that backpacking requires backpacks and staying at hostels. So, yeah, my mom and I did wheel around luggage - true. But, we travelled for 3 weeks without any plan at all. We took trains, and experienced all kinds of adventures -- including sleeping on a sketchy Amsterdam houseboat where I couldn't even fit my whole body in the room, my mom getting locked in a bathroom in Prague, staying in a strange Turkish suburb of Berlin and almost freezing to death, and jumping out of a moving train in Frankfurt. My mom had never travelled this way before. And, I have backpacked before. And, even though our primary luggage wasn't a backpack, our experiences were more similar to those of a technical backpacking trip than they were to a normal trip to Europe.

Gypsys
So, I made fun of gypsys the other day. I basically said something like Borat would say, but far less comedic. Anyway, I was also called on this because this group is very oppressed in Europe because of these stereotypes. I responded that in our country they are not oppressed, so it is not a problem. He countered, well, what if black people weren't oppressed in Europe and a local person starting raising stereotypes about crack. I see his point. Not sure if I can justifiably make gypsy jokes anymore. Does it make me as bad to just think it?

Backers

Austin was so much fun! Yee-haw. You should check out all of my yelp reviews.

We all drank Shiner Boks or Lonestars at most every meal, and sang full-volume in our minivan between adventures. We played celebrity and Mike strummed the Banjo while Sarah crooned church songs. I purchased cow-hide cowboy boots.

We saw music too - some good (jug band), some not so good (duelling piano sexists) - and partook in chicken shit bingo. I ate lots of queso, which is yummilicious. A lot of our plans didn't work out, but I think we mostly felt revived and excited to realize we are still young and fun, though perhaps in a slightly more subdued and responsible form.

Maybe some of you will move out to Austin with me one day or at least visit?!

Since I have left the Bay Area so many of my friend have left, from Turadg, Thorben, Beverly, Shannon, Mike, and now Joanna, and Dana, and prospectively, Andrea. The whole time I was there very few people left (in contrast to my experience in D.C.). If I ever move back, it will be totally different to have those people absent from my life.

I can't believe I have been in D.C. for so long - approaching a year. I can do this. And, I am glad I did it. After being in Texas, while walking to work I realized that the walk to work is like a Marshalls or TJ Maxx fashion show. Sad. People are also markedly ruder here -- specifically in the service industry. I insist on being nice.

Last night Mike planned a great night for us. Through the freezing rain, we went to a book release party (the Not for Tourists Guide to D.C.) at Local 16, to El Khartoum Sudanese for dinner, we saw an indie play and drank some at the Warehouse, and ended the night at a gay country-western/karaoke bar (which had no Texas beer), where Mike and I randomly ran into two other Mac grads (one of whom exhibited the characteristic Mac aloofness). It made me realize D.C. is dandy.

In the play, they used this term "mench" which is short for mention. I like it. There was a whole sequence where they ended every word/name with "ers" and it stuck in my head.

I am going to Puerto Rico with my mom for my birthday present. I haven't been since my grandma died when I was in 9th grade.

I got to see my old friend chicken the other day. He was like a little brother to me. Now he is 26. I haven't seen him in perhaps 5 years. He slept on my floor and we gossiped about the old days. Was really nice. Overlapping memories are the most rewarding kind.

Break

I go to Austin this weekend and, even though vacation was just a few months ago, I totally need a break. Austin is a total foil to Washington, D.C. Fun there is cheap and lazy. D.C. is fast-paced and full of 'tude. I wish I had friends in Austin. I would totally move there and live large. I want a little craftsman house with a back yard. A unique place that I can fix up, host BBQ's, have my friends stay in a proper guest room. Maybe I'll do it. My mom and Basil will be there and it really has everything that I need, save for friends. The big problem is as we get older, I dread having to make new friends. And finding a place with a critical mass of single people; where this is normal. This is why I will eventually move back to the Bay Area; methinks after the Presidential election. (As of late, I have been feeling strangely apolitical.)

Steph, an old friend, started working with me. I have been without aid at work for going on three months. Accordingly, my head has been spinning. It is so nice to have an ally. With this much-needed partnership, I feel reenergized and confident that my program can move forward. I am even motivated to take some classes, though the specific classes change all the time. I think I want to take a class on Africa and a voice class.

The person who I originally was going to hire -- who was ultimately vetoed -- got another job, which made me feel so relieved. I carried around a lot of guilt for a long time; you would think I was Catholic.

I think about my dad a whole lot. He gave me his watch and I wear it all the time and feel so much pride when people compliment it. I wish I were staying in better touch with my family on that side. The woman who was first lady of Mac when I was there -- Marge McPherson -- passed away at 60. It affected me more than I thought it would, perhaps because of my dad.

Ahmed, my old roommate, is around (from Dubai) and stayed with me the other night. It was as if he never left. He was an outstanding roommate. My current roommate is truly rarely here. He is too busy at the Oscars, or chasing Brittney Spears at Sky Bar in LA.

I don't like arrogance and moodiness, or any combination thereof. I just have to share this.

I finally have some D.C. restaurants that I love -- Super Pollo, Hee Been, Neyla's, El Khartoum, Amsterdam falafelshop, Bombay Palace weekend lunch buffet, New Fortune dim sum, thai Tanic and Singapore Bistro for delivery. This constitutes a critical mass.

Anyway, after the debacle that was law school Spring Break in Florida, I have slight pangs of anxiety about a 7-person trip to TX. Remarkably, vacations are much more snippety in the adult world. I am planning on Europe in October.

Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalyze yourself. Answer the following questions with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read which each answer means.

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. With who?
Andrea or Steve

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
A little froggy

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
He looks at me for a moment and hops away into the darkness

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house.
Describe it.
A large brownstone with big windows.

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
No.

6. You enter the house. You walk in to the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see on AND around it?
On it: Lots of Asian and Indian and Cuban food.
Around it: A mix of old friends and close family - my mom, dad, sister, niece, and nephew.

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
A big Macalester hot chocolate mug.

8. What do you do with the cup?
Wash it and put it on the drying rack.

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What kind of body of water is it?
A moving brook with lots of little pebbles.

10. How will you cross the water?
I will hop over the connecting rocks.

Meanings:
1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.
2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.
3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.
4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.
5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.
6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.
7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.
8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude.
9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.
10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

Vulnerable

Last week sort of sucked. Besides two friends' parents becoming ill (one who's father is a dear friend of mine), and my heat not working, I had a strange pain in my groin, which I convinced myself was cancer (of the Tom Green variety). So, I called my insurance and they assigned me to a PCP. When I arrived at the office, I saw the sign "Women's Health Specialist" next to my doc's name. I went in anyway. Turns out I have an inoperable inguinal hernia, which is much better than cancer. This led me to a couple realizations:

#1 that I'm getting increasingly less invincible with age (which also means that I need to exercise), and
#2 that I'm incredibly private about these things (I didn't share the situation with anybody until I checked out OK); and in the bigger picture, I value vulnerability in others, when I am only selectively vulnerable.

So, I am older. 28 to be exact. This takes me away from legitimately claiming myself in my mid-20's. In a lot of ways it's the perfect age; I am taken seriously in a professional context (no longer Doogie Howser the Alumni Director), and I am still young enough to be considered "fun" by college kids. My biggest problem with aging is not age itself, but the fact that I can't jump through a time portal and be 22 again. I just can't believe I am going to lose my 20's so soon. Another problem is that everybody at work guessed I was turning 30 or 31. I am not sure where I get my old-looking genes because my mom and dad look(ed) incredibly young for their respective ages.

Last night I had a birthday party at my apartment, which was incredibly fun and well-attended despite frigid temperatures outside. (which includes my song obsession of the week - "Remind Me" from the GEICO commercial.) At about 8 pm, when only 7 people were here, my never-before-seen, silver-haired, 70+ year old next door neighbor came by to tell us to be quiet (which reminded me of Len in CT, and our hotel neighbors at the Utah Marriott, Petey). Anyway, we partied until 3:15 in the morning without a hitch. Though I was supremely stressed about the neighbor, the greatest thing about the party was circulating around and reconnecting with people who I hadn't seen in months. It gives a context for future scheming. Until they have babies.

My friend Skyler pointed out the feel of the party was markedly different from a college party. There were 60+ but it never got out of control. There were lots of couples, many were married (though none had kids). People brought good wine and premium vodka; I served Lambic peche. Nobody vomited. A lot of our conversations centered around big life decisions -- kids, career, location, spirituality, relationships. I spoke gleefully about mutual funds (yay for Vanguard's International Value!), and debated with a statistician about equating standardized tests. Let me mention - it wasn't sedate - there was a great energy and lots of smiles and laughter; i.e., I had a blast. But, my contemporaries, we have evolved. And, it's OK. It's actually great.

Well, one discouraging thing that I noticed is the tendency for people to start becoming hermity at this age. I know a lot of people who are well-intentioned with a very social past who just opt to stay at home -- because it's regimen. I also notice people are a lot more likely to flake, as I have mentioned before; this is probably because we live much more siloed livess. Alarmingly, Sarah pointed out to me, and my current roommate's behavior corroborates, that single men over 40 basically go home every night, watch TV, do work on their laptop and drink hard liquor, often alone. I don't want to do that; but maybe when I am doing it it won't be so bad.

Something that my PCP told me in light of my hernia and aging is that I need to exercise more. She said that my metabolism is not going to get any better. And, as I age I can start to develop chronic problems due to my lack of substantive exercise (not including walking). My family has been bugging me about this for years, which has justified my resistance -- to now. I just need to bite the bullet and do it. I just don't know where to start. Men's Health Magazine? I have hired Akeisha, to harass me to do this. I also need to force myself to eat healthier! The sad thing is that I totally know how to eat healthy, it's just a matter of attention span and discipline.

So at the party more than one person came up to me and said the common thread about my guests was that everyone was nice. I like that. I usually say that the common thread of my friends -- the primary attractor -- is vulnerability. Something that Jen pointed out to me is that I am only selectively vulnerable, which is true. It is a major double standard. I have a great skill, which has grown out of my stream of consciousness/ADHDness, to change conversations when I don't like where they are going. And, I can't stand to be psychoanalyzed - unless I determine the scope/set the parameters.

With that said, I can't believe I didn't tell anybody about my fear. I apologize to myself for that.

B-day

Today is my birthday. I share it with Kim Jung Il and Sonny Bono. I like that. I also like sharing my ethnic mix with Geraldo and David Blaine.

Homeless

Today when I walked up to Alumni House I saw two older homeless men sitting on the stoop. I acknowledged them and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. In the fridge there are boxes of leftover Papa John's pizza that are about to be tossed. I thought - why don't I offer the pizza to the homeless people on the stoop? I asked the secretary what she thought and she said sure - unless it will attract them back. That seemed like a thoroughly reasonable rationale to me for about 20 seconds, until I came to the realization that these are human beings. I would rather they eat and bother me for food than suffer. Anywho, I handed the the pizza (selecting the veggie one) and they were so thankful. I can't believe I even considered not giving it to them. How thoroughly un-Macalester of me! Should I go down and offer them another pie?

In other news, I am having a birthday party tomorrow. I bought a new Ipod which I populated with a "Party Mix". I was pleased with the finished product save for the fact that it runs 16 hours long. Oops. Road trip to Jacksonville!

Old Friends

After numerous bouts of phone tag and a little harassment on my part, I just spoke with a friend from law school and it made me feel really good. This is because:

(1) Reconnecting with old friends with layers of [literal and figurative] distance is like hugging your snuggly childhood teddy bear, or tasting your grandma's secret recipe collard greens (if only my grandma made collard greens).

(2) This particular buddy bear's/old friend's life had progressed so much, and seemed so destined for greatness, that it made me beam with happiness. Birmingham (my favorite professor in law school who I should write to) would posit that we have shared utilities.

I need to do that more often.

Dash

Today one of my colleagues provided a pearl of wisdom.

When somebody dies people seem to focus a lot on the year of birth and the year of death. However, all that really matters is the dash.

Make the dash count!

Good Weekend

I had a great weekend. I was riding on the Metro on Thursday and realized that despite my hesitation, D.C. is starting to feel like home.

Thursday, I saw Cara, my liberal female counterpart from law school who was here for a conference. We enjoyed tapas and good catch-up conversation.

Friday night I did two happy hours with Sarah - one at a Belgian beer pub - Bireria Paradiso, and then one with she and my colleagues at the Capital Grille. We sipped on Stoli Dolis (pineapple-infused vodka) and ate a fancy Delmonico steak and I loved every morsel. One of the guys there (a friend of my colleague's) is a Republican. It's amazing how much less contempt I have for Republicans than I did when I was in undergrad. He was a super nice guy and a regular at this place, and we weren't charged for any drinks and were given free dessert. It was a gluttonous event.

Saturday I slept in and went looking for apartments with my friend Susie. We looked all around Northern VA. One place in Crystal City (also known as "Crystal Shitty") pissed me off. It was about $260K for a 200 square foot efficiency overlooking a power plant reminiscent of Homer Simpson's place of employment. In the evening, I went with Jen to see Balkan gypsy performers in Takoma Park, which totally reminded me of Berkeley. It felt nice. Went out for late-night grub with the performers in Clarendon.

Sunday (today), had brunch with my mentor from San Francisco and had an INCREDIBLE fondue party at Sarah's. We had beer/cheese, meat (shrimp, sirloin, etc.), and dessert fondues and a homemade Italian cream cake. It, again, was quite gluttonous. Being at Sarah's was so much fun -- people kept on stopping by and it felt really comfortable.

Worlds colliding-wise, three big coincidences:
(1) Susan (the one I shopped for real estate with) is sharing an office with one of Vanessa's (one of my closest friends) closest friends.
(2) Susan and I checked out my colleague's (the one who I share an office with) apartment by complete coincidence.
(3) I went to middle school with my colleague's college roommate, who is a producer for Ali G. Unfortunately I don't forget people.

A Music Person

The other night one of my good friends dodged a "squirrel nut zipper" concert (or some name like that) to hang out with me. I didn't know who they were and she accused me of, in general, not being a music person. Though I still love this person, her accusation totally offends me.

What does it mean to be a "music person"? Is it based on how many CD's you own, how much trivia you know, or how many concerts you've been to in the last 6 months?

I posit that -- frustratingly -- a lot of white people especially have this notion that if you are white and don't listen to Brit pop or some obscure indie band or classic rock - then you can't be a "music person" and are not as good as them. They make PC exclusions for non-whites who listen exclusively to ethnic music of their background.

I am here to say that I am a music person. I love music. It drives my moods and decisions. I listen to lots of music. I listen to lots of different kinds of music, spanning from Nick Drake to Toto to Nine Inch Nails to Neil Young to Robin Thicke to India Aire to Rufus Wainwright to Elliott Smith to Lisa Loeb to George Michael. And, I am proud of what I like. And, I am not about to criticize anyone because they don't like or know any particular band.

I also sing. Singing has been an extremely important part of my life.

I am a music person because I love music and I can't live without it (unless I were deaf).

Pisco

I like working for a big organization where I have lots of colleagues.

Whenever I go to Bertucci's for lunch (I know it's an evil chain, but they do have good bread) I inevitably bump into a host of friendly faces who I am genuinely happy to see. Today I was taken out to lunch with someone from the multicultural center. I like him, but he keeps telling me how minorities think -- basically through the lens of afrocentrism, i.e. minorities value personal relationships over logic and value cultural symbols. I find this perspective essentialist. I also think afrocentrism does not account for a multitude of other oppressed peoples' perspectives (i.e. Native Americans, Southeast Asians). I also think this is an affront to people of color who do not think in the ways he tells me they do. Am I not Puerto Rican because I rely on statistics and metrics in making decisions? It's almost as bad as Biden's statements as far as I am concerned.

Anyway, today I drank some pisco sours with my colleagues after work and they were yummy. We then attended a performance by this guy who pretends to be Mark Twain. I was trying to curb my ADHD, but ultimately it was too dreadfully boring and I needed to scoot. I wish it were Ali G up there.

Simple things

Here are some little updates:

- I hired a new Assistant Director and she is WONDERFUL. I am so elated! Lord knows I need the help.

- Tonight I had a wonderful night. Mike (who I found out is joining for Austin -- which totally surprised/excited me), Jen, Sarah and I did a sushi happy hour at Cafe Asia, saw a free comedy competition at GW (the funniest joke involved bobble heads and Parkinson's disease), went up to the student union to play cheap bowling (one of D.C's best kept secrets)/singing Lionel Richie, and got free coke, ate homemade brownies, and walked home in the powdery snow. It was a night full of the simple things with four interesting, different people.

- Notably, I think we all felt a little bit old hanging out at a college - but it was also great doing it together!

Photos

Tonight I compiled a photo album; a real one - not one on snapfish.

To be honest, I am resistent to digital cameras on a few grounds. My main beef is that the instant gratification of having a picture turn out immediately leads people to take and erase pictures over and over again until they get the perfect picture. As a result, people become more obsessed with getting a good picture than they are with engaging in their surroundings. Oftentimes before people take in the scene (or in lieu of it) they are snapping away.

Another beef is based on my experience tonight. I have had many pictures of my dad (from his wife), laying around loosely, getting bent out of shape. So, I did what I haven't done since I got back from South Africa and bought a real life album - the kind with an adhesive back and a thin plastic veil. It was so therapeutic and rewarding to arrange an album and memorialize my dad -- and our relationship -- in such a tangible way. It will be so much better to share with people when they come to my place. Especially seeing the old black and whites and polaroid pictures, was a very moving experience.

Remarkably, some of my favorites of these pictures are candids that are not the most attractive images of me or my family members; definitely pictures I (or they) would have erased were I (or they) to have had the "luxury" of an instant retake. I guess sometimes the past isn't pretty... until the future. Or something.

Caveat: OK, I admit that this blog wouldn't be nearly as relevant without the attached pictures. So, digi cameras can't be all bad.

100K

It's interesting how points-of-reference change.

We were talking about how much Vanna White must make - and my friend guessed 100K and I was like hell no - she must make 300-500K. (How much do you think Vanna White makes? Whatever it is, she looks very good for her agel she will be 50 on February 18.)

Then, last night I was at a party and we got to talking about health care policy and this girl is like, "doctors make 100K - so they should be more responsible with their patients..." And, I was thinking "whatever doctor only makes 100K and is not a Doctors Without Borders type of doctor is probably not someone you want to see."

In both cases, when I heard 100K I was thinking that's not that much money. I mean, I don't make quite 100K, but it doesn't seem very unattainable. I have many good friends making twice that amount.

When I was growing up, my mom was a teacher. She had lots of degrees and seniority, so she made an especially good living for a teacher. I remember being really impressed with my mom's 70K-ish salary, and now I'm in awe by how she paid for everything (a Lexus, my private school, camp, etc. - this is not to say that she made responsible monetary decisions.) Even accounting for inflation, her money went far.

I also remember legitimately liking Tony Roma's, Outback, Macaroni Grille, and other chains (including Denny's) as my favorite restaurants. I still go to these places for novelty purposes (actually I haven't been to any of these restaurants in at least 2 years or more, except for the Chili's in the airport and the Friday's for a happy hour). Anyway, I don't take these restaurants seriously and probably wouldn't unless I lived in suburban Ohio.

SF Flashback

Tonight Sarah cooked up a Mexican feast and warm brownies with homemade whipped cream and we watched Grey's Anatomy. Afterwards, I caught a cab (due to lethargy) and in the back seat, lo and behold, was a deaf transvestite prostitute. There was a traditional-looking Indian woman in the passenger seat who told me "the man is deaf" (meaning the prostitute). So, naturally, I thought this was the transvestite's interpreter. But, it turns out she was the cab driver's wife. For some reason, I get along with cab drivers. And, during the ride, we debriefed on the tranny.

Earlier today, I spotted what seemed to be a homeless man in the alumni house. It weirded me out, so I consulted with the secretary who gave me a historical summary. Apparently this strange man occasionally comes into the house stating he is an alumnus, which is verified by the alumni directory with a Boston address (though he refuses to show photo ID). He does, however, present checks for hundreds of dollars that don't bounce. He is a strange man who mumbles, rather than talks, and who almost had a physical altercation with my friend, the employee who left. Today, he came by, sat in the waiting room without acknowledging the secretary, read an entire newspaper, and left.

These oddball experiences totally remind me of my former life in SF. However, when they happen here, they throw me off a bit more... Khaki used to weird me out when I was in SF, but now I wear it.

Hate to Like

I am the kind of person who elicits strong feelings from people. Some people instantly dislike me. Others are very drawn to me. What weirds me out more than anything are people who are neutral; they interest me more than people who dislike me. Where this plays out more than anything is when I am interviewing job candidates. Some people cancel their phone screening after we talk on the phone; you can tell I've turned them off. Others call incessantly and plead that they'd love to work with me.

Some of the strongest friendships I've had derived from people who instantly didn't like me. I have this co-worker who literally made my life Hell when I started. He was just catty and totally trying to undermine me. After being thoroughly hazed, he decided that I grew on him like a fine wine (which he literally said tonight). Now we are all good. One interesting element of this is that his reaction towards me totally shaped my reaction toward him. I mean, I never tried to screw him over, but now that he's been nice to me, I totally see him differently and somehow forget how he mistreated me for such a long time.

One of my favorite co-workers left today after 14 years at the university where I work - a wonderful Republican hunter who took me to the Urgent Care center when I sprained my ankle, drove me home when I was still hobbling, and bought me coffee and donuts after my dad passed away. Today, when his work was done (after a pleasant lunch) he slipped out discretely without saying goodbye. I am sure that he is really sad and this is a huge transition. There was some controversy over the way that he left, however, I completely understand. I hate the fake pleasantries of a work "goodbye." Leaving work is almost like breaking up with the attendant pride/vulnerability quotient. Think about it; how often do former colleagues actually stop by to visit? Work friendships are real but are rooted in work. It is a rare exception that they ripen into something that is sustainable beyond work because the one who leaves (generally) inherently feels superior in some life choice that they've made.

Crazy Japanese Komodo Dragon Game

This is a prime example of Japanese humor that I cannot get over. In this game, young women put their heads through a hole waiting for a vicious komodo dragon to attack them. Whoever keeps their head through the hole the longest wins. Move over Fear Factor; what transpires can only be analogized to Armageddon.

Colors

Does it ever drive you crazy to think about how few colors there are? I mean there are variations/modified versions of colors like powder blue and kelly green, but basically there are like 10 colors. Sometimes I try to envision what another color would look like, other than those that exist, and it makes my head spin. It just feels so constraining, as if the Earth were encrusted in glass.

This glass reference reminds me of a dream I had when I was a high school freshman. I was in a huge drinking glass filled with water and the water slowly drained out. Then, I was stuck at the bottom of the glass with no way out. Screaming. I am not sure if there was some metaphor or if that was around the time that that girl was stuck in that well. There haven't been any good kid-stuck-in-well stories lately.

So, my favorite restaurant on the planet is a Pakistanti hold-in-the-wall called Lahore Karahi. I love the place. The owner and waiter are like my family -- Guddu and Abdul (according to Steve, there are only 3 people in Abdul's caste who have college degrees, 2 of whom have the same name). I also lived with a wonderful Bengali family who became my surrogate family for a while. I have made many South Asian cabbies very excited to meet me. And, once after a South Asian play, I was out with some desis and after a few hours talking to an Indian woman she was shocked to find out I wasn't Indian. Anywho, because of all of this, I have this weird sense of entitlement when I enter an Indian restaurant that must be insufferable and/or comical. I feel like I know how to measure good Indian food, primarily on the basis of 3 staple things: (1) papadam, (2) rasmalai, (3) tamarind sauce. I would be so weirded out if some random Buddhist (not a JewBu) were to think they were the expert on Jewish delis.

Age-Obsessed Microgeneration

Something during our socialization made my microgeneration obsessed with age. Maybe it is some subliminal message in Rainbow Brite or My Buddy commercials? I just notice that when I have conversation with my contemporaries (the one closest in age to me being Jennifer Love Hewitt), we are always more interested in talking about our exact age in relation to people older and younger than us.

Whatever the case, I am starting to realize that I am not young anymore; OK, OK I am still in my 20's, so I am young-ish - but I am not young, as in, a kid. I was reading a Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (which was authored by my new roommate's brother) and read the passage about where Dave the protagonist sleeps with a 29-year old and is intially scared of seeing her weathered naked flesh, and I realized that not that long ago, I thought that way too (well not that graphically). I remember when I started law school, I was so proud of myself for relating for 27 year olds. Now I see 22 year olds as children and 50-somethings as peers (sort of).

Sometimes when I go to the bus stop or when I'm riding the bus I try to guess the age of the riders. And, then I freak myself out when I realize that someone I view as an adult may be my age. I also freak out when I ask someone to guess my age and they guess 32 or something. I also look at my old friends and though I see them the same, when I look closer (both figuratively and literally), I realize that we aren't like we used to. We're more motivated by investments returns over social change (even if we're not Republican) -- at least more than we thought we'd be. We have a few wrinkles. We're the age that some of our professors were. Well, the hot professors, which is good.

Do we always just think of ourselves as kids? Maybe I think about this more because I haven't followed the traditional marriage/kids path. I was thinking about that too - in a conversation with Steph - I pointed out the anthropological reason for having kids is to give life metrics for success and to give ourselves something to live vicariously through. Like, how do I measure concretely success... is it just through career advancement? Is this vicarious success what drives my mother? Is it why she wants me to make more money and have kids -- because it's a metric for her?

I guess I am cool with measuring my success through hedons, rather than dollar signs; for now...

Hypomanic?

I think self-diagnosis is generally annoying, but I think I am hypomanic.

Here is a simple definition:

People with hypomania are generally perceived as being energetic, euphoric, overflowing with new ideas, and sometimes highly confident and charismatic, and unlike full-blown mania, they are sufficiently capable of coherent thought and action to participate in everyday activities. One in the state of hypomania might be immune to fear and doubt and have little social inhibition. They may talk to strangers easily, offer solutions to problems, and find pleasure in small activities.

John Gartner's The Hypomanic Edge (Simon and Schuster) contends that notable "Americans" including Christopher Columbus, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Carnegie, Louis B Mayer, and Craig Venter (who mapped the human genome) owe their innovativeness and drive, as well as their eccentricities, to hypomanic temperaments.