I just realized the way I can make tangible my feelings of not being in San Francisco.
I feel like I'm missing out.
It's like when you have to study for a test, but your favorite band is playing in a building next door. Or when your friends are eating at your favorite Indian restaurant, but you are stuck at home with a TV dinner.
And, it's weird b/c I have a pretty ideal life here in D.C. filled with lots of interesting people (more than I can keep track of) and a job I really like. I live in a beautiful apartment in a great part of town. I *should* be totally satisfied.
But, San Francisco is that concert or Indian restaurant. Coupled with the feeling that time is 'a-tickin'/life is finite/time is running out, it is sort of a stressful feeling.
I oftentimes wonder/worry (like when I was on the grocery line yesterday), however, that when I get back and miss everything I take for granted here in D.C. Will I experience something akin to Garden State?
I had lunch with Bryony yesterday. She is someone who inspires me to think out loud. And, I realized that D.C. is too conformist and pragmatic for me; and that context leads me to different ways of life. San Francisco inspired me to go to farmers markets and eat raw foods, to get involved in musical theatre, to have conversations about human cheese and lucid dreams. In D.C., I work and go out to eat, and watch tv, and go home.
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Me in a cap looking mad
I enjoy Haikus/ They deserve their own Haiku/ Haikus forever
About Me
- AK
- Washington, DC, United States
- Wanderlusty, "red", ENTJ, Bohemian, energetic, foodie, probably hypomanic (functional)
Mapcap (someone aptly described my life with this word)
Me in a cap looking mad
2 comments:
great post -- your analogies described your feelings perfectly. Hang in there -- make the most of DC while you are down there. You'll be in SF soon -- if you ever change your mind come to NYC!!
Andrew, did you have that time-ticking missing-out feeling ever before living in SF? I think SF instills that, because there is so much creative activity, it moves so fast. It draws one to be plugged in and experiencing it all.
I miss SF too, but I'm beginning to value this slower pace of life in Pittsburgh. I had an amazing time in SF my last trip--I was in near ecstasy lounging in Dolores Park with dear friends--but it also reminded me of the treadmill mentality the city instills.
I'm not saying there aren't a wealth of reasons to love SF and value living there again, but while until you do, there's comfort in considering the trade-offs in that lifestyle and what aspects of your life you can develop and appreciate more where you are than you could there. That's what I'm trying to do.
See you in June!
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