Love and Marriage

I had an interesting discussion tonight about love and relationships. My friend was concerned that she at almost 30 has not been in one - at least a substantive one. I told her that if she truly wanted to be in a relationship, she could be in one with SOMEONE (we all have that option), but implicitly she is not ready to settle. I actually believe what I said. So many people I know are in relationships more because they want to be in a relationship than because they are with the right person. I guess it's for us to decide if it's better to fly solo or be with just somebody, anybody.

We also discussed the concept of marriage. She asked if I believed that marriage was necessary to consummate a relationship or if partnership was enough. I said I believed marriage should be taken more seriously, but is too often a farce. With that said, I would probably get married to a partner for the benefits (tax, visitation, etc.) it confers, if that relationship had no foreseeable end point.

The same friend (Steph) and I had a discussion about friends; she pointed out that she has so few of them. She pointed out that I have many. However, how one defines a friend is the most important thing. I keep loose ties with lots of people; mainly because I am wanderlusty, and secondly, because I am curious about what people are up to. As we are getting older I am realizing that all relationships have ebbs and flows. The most important thing is being OK with not seeing someone for a while, and feeling comfort when you see them again after a gap. Also, making an effort to see someone when they are near is a good way of gauging friendship. For example, I hadn't seen my friend Steph in well over 5 years, but we reconnected today and it felt normal and great. Moreover, she was here for the Unity March. We worked hard logistically to connect and she extended her stay so we could really catch up!

Another thing we discussed tonight was my dad. A lot of people have been reaching out again, which is nice. When he was in hospice I was constantly touching his face and hair and realize that I had never done that before, which is really sad. I think it's sad in general that we as humans create barriers to touching one another.

I don't know why but that makes me think of this, but it's odd that we oftentimes treat animals more humanely than people. Why do we pet dogs so freely? Is it because they have no alterior (sexual) motive. Generally, we make such weird allowances we make for dogs to invade our personal space. Why do people allow dogs to lick the inside of their mouths (YUCK), but won't share a can of Coke with their friend, or caress them?

Another thing we discussed at dinner were the ways in which I am conservative. My friend Mike thought I was a libertarian, which shocked me. But, I am conservative insofar as I don't recycle (though I am for it), I drive SUVs when I drive (though I don't own a car, and don't support the purchase of same), and I am slightly taxophobic (I support government programs in general, but don't enjoy actually paying out for same). I also reap the benefits of gentrification. And I love meat. I felt brave, but purged, revealing my hypocritical flaws.

UConn Law just announced a new, underwhelming dean.

Lately I have gotten really into Japanese humor. All of these youtube videos showing Japanese images are just hilarious. Look at the one with the gameshow ladies heads dodging komodo dragons, or the one which is a hybrid of work-out and self-defense video.

Bought my tix to Austin today - so far Thorben and Sarah are in. Hopefully there will be many takers.